So this couple walks in- a broad-shouldered man with an accent (Italian, I think) and a man that I can best describe as looking like Cecil Palmer.
“Okay- weird question. So you guys did our wedding- amazing by the way. And it’s been a month and just about all the flowers in the vases have died by now except for this one thing that’s really holding on in there. And we want to know what that plant is and how to take care of it to keep it alive. And we don’t know how to like… describe it and it sounds kind of weird to go to up to a stranger and say ‘hey what’s this weird wiggly green plant you put in our vases a month ago?’ but I guess that’s what I’m asking.”
“Sounds like curly willow. If you keep it in water it will eventually start rooting and you can grow a new plant from it from the cutting.”
“That is too cool! What do you suggest we do?”
“Well, you can keep it in the water for now, but eventually you’ll want to pot it in soil because that’s how it’s going to get its nutrients.”
“Can we,” the Italian guy asks. “Can we plant it in the floor?” I figure he means ‘plant it outside.’
I nod. “It’ll keep growing.”
“What does it look like when it’s bigger? Does it stay like a wiggly stick?”
“Oh, no, it’ll branch out. It’s actually a tree.”
The skinnier one turns to his husband and says:
“Did you hear that, honey? They gave us a tree! We have a tree now!”
Being a green witch (steward of nature or otherwise) often involves practicing in the great outdoors, so here are some ideas for things that are (probably) safe to offer in and to natural spaces.
Important: “Natural spaces”includes much more than wild wilderness. The patch of grass by your bus stop is nature, the hedge along your apartment parking lot is nature, the trees growing in tiny fences surrounded by concrete are nature, and all natural spaces have different needs so be sure to do research on your specific area before anything else!
#1: Non-Physical Offerings
Offerings that literally don’t leave a trace are the best! Here are some ideas:
Music. Play it from your phone, sing, bring an instrument, or use an app like magic piano! Your skill doesn’t matter nearly as much as your intent.
Stories & Poems. You can read aloud or do an improv piece!
Adoration. Your esteem is a valuable gift! Take some time just to express your admiration and appreciation.
#2: Take-Away Offerings
Something that you can present and then take away with you is another great way to make an offering without disturbing the environment or inhabitants. If appropriate, you can destroy the offering in a safe space afterward.
Pictures and Photos can be presented, viewed awhile (stay nearby while waiting), and then removed.
Sculptures, Crystals, and Stones can be offered in a similar way to pictures and photos, you might consider turning or moving the item to display all of its features. For instance, you could hold a crystal to the light so show off the sparkle.
Feathers and Bones can be presented either on their own merit or as a prop for stories about the creatures from which they came.
Water offerings such as sun or moon water or water charged with crystals can be presented in a container and then taken away afterward in cases where pouring it out or leaving it standing could cause problems for local plant, insect, or animal life.
Other items this is a highly variable option, so see the “nope definitely not” list at the bottom of this post if you’re not sure.
#3: Standing Offerings
These are offerings that you leave at the site. They are the riskiest option and I highly recommend you consider a non-physical or take-away offering before any of the suggestions below. If you still think a standing offering is best for your purposes, make sure to thoroughly research the space, including the geology, meteorology, and inhabitants.
Water libations. Clean water can be charged in many ways (moon water, etc.) and then poured out as a sacrificial offering. Be careful to avoid over-watering local plant life or flooding the homes of burrowing animals and insects. Leaving bowls or goblets of water standing can sometimes create environments for harmful and/or invasive bacteria and fungi, as well.
Wood carvings might be all right to leave out if their presence is not obstructing or damaging any part of the natural environment. To avoid this, it is best to make offerings on a naturally-occurring structure such as a stone or stump rather than constructing an altar.
Stones can be painted, polished, or presented as they are. Small stones may become a problem if they are piled up as they altar the way light and rain interact with the plant life beneath the stones, and large stones can disrupt things beneath them like insect or small animal homes or plants that were trying to grow there, so I recommend you restrict stone offerings to pebble-size, and consider making them a take-away offering after a while.
Flower petals are safer than whole flower heads as seeds from the flower’s centre might present an invasive species risk. It might also be offensive to pick the petals from flowers growing in the area, so I recommend you look for acceptable petals that have fallen to the ground, instead.
🚫Nope, definitely not🚫
Some things are pretty much never the best idea. There’s usually a safer way to do it or a less risky alternative. I recommend that you avoid offering:
Food. NEVER leave food as a standing offering. Even as a take-away, the scent and any residue can mess with the hunting/foraging patterns of creatures in the area. Also, you don’t want to attract any dangerous animals to your area while making an offering!
Alcohol. Alcohol is devastating to plants and animals. Even in a container, the risk of accidental spilling is not worth it.
Incense. The strong smell can mess with the hunting/gathering efforts of local wildlife, as well as just being overpowering for their noses, which are much more sensitive than human ones. Spilled oils (especially essential oils) can also be damaging for both plant and animal life.
Bottles and Jars. Nobody likes a litterbug! Try to stick to non-physical, take-away, or quickly biodegradable offerings. Leaving plastic or glass containers out or burying them can be harmful to local life in a lot of ways. Paper is slightly better, but it takes longer to biodegrade than you’d think.
Seeds. This includes things that contain seeds like flowers and berries. Introducing a potentially invasive species can devastate the ecosystem, not to mention that the resulting plant might be toxic for local herbivores, which is especially troubling if you’re introducing a species that they don’t know to avoid.
Fire. This one should be obvious, but it’s going on here just in case. Don’t burn things in nature. Just don’t.
There are n*zis on campus rn and a student brought out like a 1997 boombox and started blasting Taking The Hobbits to Isengard every time they tried to say something.
“Those who do not share our genes -THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS – THE MASTER RACE – TO ISENGARD TO ISENGARD – AND I BELIEVE –
THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE-”
Chaotic good
In Jewish tradition, one of our holidays is called Purim. It celebrates the defeat of an antisemitic political advisor to a king who liked to prowl the streets ranting his hatred. Part of the story of Purim involves the people being ranted at inventing a special kind of noisemaker to drown him out.
Basically what I’m saying is this student is following a grand tradition whether they realize it or not and they should be proud.
not only is Purim about drowning out fascists, it’s about doing so in the most absurd and embarrassing ways possible! fascism thrives on an aura of invincibility, and it’s hard to hold onto that when people keep making farting sounds every time you open your mouth
so really, weaponized memes are PERFECTLY in keeping with the Purim spirit
*slams fist on table* NOW THIS is the kind of religious/cultural tradition I can get behind!
Heatherwitch 