me: i need to get more sleep
my brain, on repeat from the hours of 11 pm to 4 am: LETS DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL DINGDINGDINGDINGDIG
Tag: shit post
me: [at work, ringing up two parents and their toddler who’s sitting in the cart trying to get their attention]
toddler, quietly, waving hands around: [incomprehensible]
mom: what?
toddler, even quieter: [incomprehensible]
dad: you gotta speak up, bud
toddler, at full volume: FUCK.
this actually made me laugh out loud
good night. sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite. tonight. imma fight. till we see the sunlight. tik tok. on the clock. but the party don’t stop.
When you wake up in the middle of day to some brats who call themselves “vampire hunters” and they’re going to “cleanse the world of your evil”
muggle, muggle, toil and truggle
fire burn and cauldron buggle
i expect ill be able to solve a lot of my problems once my baby brain falls out & my adult brain grows in
Heatherwitch 